Wimbledon

Dear Tennis players of the UK,


Please see below a small piece of literature I came across in a blog, I was horrified until I read the last line when the greatness and high esteem Wimbledon is held in was finally clarified.

" By now the holy grass is damaged and in dire need of repair. All the ball boys and girls can go home and The All England Lawn Tennis and The Croquet Clubs can start next year’s preparations. Andy didn’t win, nor did Roger.

Maybe next year all the players should stay home.

Allow me to clarify.

I’ve been told (by a confidential source) that tennis is only played on grass in the UK. That’s weird, isn’t it? It seems the ball makes weird curves when being played with on grass. That’s why the organizers in Australia and the United States, who once upon a time played on grass, changed to hard courts. I think a guy; a certain Ivan L once said ‘Grass is for cows.’

And why is there still a rule that everyone has to play in white tennis clothing? That has to be an outdated idea. Maybe 25 years ago it was a popular idea, but this is 2011. Or maybe they don’t use a calendar in the All England Club.

We should start only watching the French Open or the US Open. Isn’t it nice to see the players in a new outfit every few months? Especially Maria Sharapova. When Wimbledon comes up, the only question I ask myself is: will they play in white or white?

I think I have given a fairly reasonable number of arguments to stop with these silly English traditions. By the way if there are by any chance some tickets left for next year’s final, just let me know."